Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
