dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I need to sanitize my soul.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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