drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
