yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
