hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
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I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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