Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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