Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
