just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
