I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
