I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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