I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
