So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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