We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
