absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
