I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Randomize
