Don't you send me to vm
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
