I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
