So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
