I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
