is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
