I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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