I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
