hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
