hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
