So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
