glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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