I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
it glows. i had to have it.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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