she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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