I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
And then my night got REAL pukey
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
