yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
