Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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