Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
