life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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