I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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