My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
operation have a gay friend backfired
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
