Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.

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(905): View more from Toronto

No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags

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(404): View more from Georgia

There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase

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(209): View more from California

is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer

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(303): View more from Colorado

Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?

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(550): View more from

I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas

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(763): View more from Minnesota

Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?

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(817): View more from Texas

How’s big weiner McGee?

(1-214): View more from Texas

I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much

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