Me too!
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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