dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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