i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
It's like God shit irony all over that family
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I love having hate sex.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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