But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
