dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
