i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
