he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
