I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
