Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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