It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize