i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
