Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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