Your face is a jimmy john
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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