T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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