my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
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