Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
