ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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