He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
