dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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