i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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