I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
NoShamevember. You game?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
