Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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