Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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