hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize