i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bar mat shot.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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