just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
