What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
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he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
