she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
