Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Randomize
